Sidenote: Yes i am starting this Journal a little late It's actually February. As of right now I am a whopping 20wks pregnant! So i am going to have to backtrack a little bit.
October 4th, 2013 was the first day of my last period..so I guess that is how they track your weeks...which has always seen weird to me cause technically your not pregnant till 2 wks after that..anywho, guess i’m not a doctor. haha. My body is unfortunaly ultra stubborn. My hormones don’t like to do what they are supposed to and therefore my body doesn’t want to ovulate ever really. Stupid lady parts..figure it out already! So we went in several times to the Idaho Center of Reproductive Medicine (the fertility clinic) and they would check me with a vaginal ultrasound, which were always pleasant ;), not. This was our 6th IntraUterine Insemenation (IUI) in 3 years. It was also our last chance for it to work before they moved us on to IVF (the $18,000 process) We, along with our family and friends where praying and fasting like crazy!....They checked me multiple times that month to see if my follicles had grown large enough to kick out an egg. This was the first time i had a mature follicle in each ovary, which was great news!
This is what my Mature Follicle looked like
I sent the follicle picture to my mom, she'd been on her knees all month i'm pretty sure..she sent me this, i thought it was cute
Both follicles were good to go...they gave me the HCG injection on monday october 21st and we went in the next day on October 22nd for the Insemination!
Our 6th and Last chance with the IUI
Everything seemed to go good....we walked out and took our millioneth picture in front of the reproductive center...and had high hopes! Then we had to wait 2 VERY LONG weeks. We went in for the blood test on November 5th. They took my blood early in the morning and said they would call me between 3-6pm (torture!)
Us Leaving the Reproductive Center for the 100th time
After the blood test! Nervous!
But Excited!!
I had to work that day from 1-8pm. I was very scared for them to call me while i was working because i knew i would fall apart either way. That morning aaron had a presentation at Chapalas for work. While he went to work...i was back home having crazy anxiety about wether this was going to end up a very sad day or a very happy day. It would all be determined by one stupid phone call! I tried to sleep...which is usually never a problem for me. Of course i had all the pregnancy symptoms that i would get every time i found out that i wasn’t pregnant...sore boobs, fatigue, headaches, cramps, etc....torture! I couldn’t sleep...so i got up and i debated for about 20 min wether or not i should take a pregnancy test. Well...i decided to take one. I had taken so many pregnancy tests at this point that i felt like i could do it with my eyes closed...i read the box wrong and waited for 5 minutes instead of 3 like your supposed to! So my alarm went off as i laid there sweating for 5 minutes on our bed and went into the bathroom to check it....it had 2 lines!....wait whaaa? wait what is 2 lines again...(you’d think i knew this by now) 2 lines was positive! but then i read the box about 5 times over and realized i waited too long! i was panicked that it was inaccurate because i waited too long....so.....i took Another test! waited 3 minutes in terrible anxiety on my bed...after my alarm sounded on my phone...i walked into the bathroom...looked at the test..and still...2 LINES! I had imagined this moment in my head probably a thousand times...what would it be like?...i picked up the test..walked into my bedroom on the carpet...looked at myself in the mirror and well...i fell to my knees, overwhelmed with shock, disbelief, belief, gratitude, love, more shock!...i started crying so hard..it was like i had a lifetime of tears saved up in my body for this moment in time. I literally couldn’t stop...i cried for probably a solid hour. It was such a blessing that i was by myself, i always tried way to hard to appear "strong" when sometimes i felt anything but that... i prayed with my whole body flopped to the ground as if i was bowing at my Heavenly Father's feet with everything i had...i cried and thanked him for this sweet miracle...i thanked him over and over and over again.
I realize it's a little weird that i snapped pics of me crying, but i never wanted to forget this moment! It was one of the sweetest moments that i had ever experienced and i felt so close to my Heavenly Father.
I got my bearings about me a little bit and i texted aaron and asked him to come home after his meeting...he was worried that something was wrong and i just said for him to come home. He came home...walked in the bedroom, he could tell i’d been crying..he always knows when i’ve been crying, he asked whats wrong..i showed him the tests...his eyes got big and said, what does it mean?...i said, “it’s positive” his face lit up (i will never forget his face) and his big blue eyes swelled up with big wet tears, he cried and held me and we both cried and laughed and cried and laughed. It was hands down the best day in our marriage...so far. I expressed to him how i was still kinda scared that what if they called me and told me otherwise...that i thought i might need counseling if that was the case! haha. Like i said, they were gonna call me between 3-6, well they called me about 15 min later..it was around 11:45. She said...”hi this is so n so from the reproductive center” i said, “i thought you were calling later?”, she said..”well i wanted to call you as soon as i saw it was a positive!” i smiled so big at aaron and gave him a thumbs up! What a a relief! We were on cloud 9! Our dreams had come true and our prayers and our families prayers had finally been answered! We decided to immediately call all of our immediate family and share the news...it was so exciting, i called alot of my best friends too.
I sent my friends and Family this pic after calling them all…figured it was a little cuter the the ones i had taken earlier! haha
I couldn’t call Jenica on the phone, she and i shared alot of our infertility journey together, she knew my pain all to well, she still wasn’t pregnant and a part of my heart was so broken for that fact!...I was a coward and texted her because i knew i wouldn’t be able to hold it together on the phone with her. She was so happy but i would bet all of my money that she probably cried..because i know thats what i would have done. It's hard to explain..yes, you are happy for people, especially friends, but every time you hear someone else is pregnant and its not you..another little part of you aches like hell inside! It's not fair at all! I wish she would get pregnant so bad that it hurts inside! She is an amazing person and so is Luke. They are still in our prayers every night and she is so happy for me. She is truly an amazing friend!! This was one of the best days of my life! I had wanted to be a mom my whole life...and it was finally becoming a reality!
Over the last 3 years…We snapped a pic of every time we Left the reproductive center..these are just a few of them..they are some of my favorites! Although this whole process was exhausting and painful..we still found happiness in each other!
One plus was that we got chick fil a biscuits for breakfast every time we went! & it was delicious
waiting in the ICRM waiting room
We are so Grateful!
